Written by Xiao Mei // Captured by Andrew Downing
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and if you haven’t received a special gift by your secret crush already, don’t worry. For one, it happens. Secondly, you’re no longer obligated to return a gift, so save your money. Thirdly, seeing where his/her priorities are helps you focus on where yours should be as well – clearly not concerning them.
Whether you are the weekend gal, or in a “it’s complicated” type relationship, Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to exhaust the love you may have not received and reposition your energy to the those who are more deserving of your time and love – Yes, more than yourself.
Knowing Where You Stand In a Relationship
Modern society created “the weekend” girls – and I’m confident I have once upon a time been “the weekend”…. Who knows, I still may be. Regardless, SZA has encouraged this to be true and I believe she admitted to being one herself.
A few months ago when I visited Cleveland, Ohio, I ended up at Rumor. Thanks to DJ K.Y, he played side chick’s national anthem, “The Weekend” by SZA. Every female in that room sang their drunk hearts out like they knew exactly how it felt to be a side piece, including me. In my eyes, I do not recommend living the lifestyle of a weekend girl. I’ve just done such an amazing job acting like a man, I forgot what it meant to be in a long-term commitment.
As I’ve once tweeted,
- “I used to be her.”
Think of this when you start judging other women. Have a seat and reflect on your choices when you were out doing the dirty dirty. Tell yourself, I used to be her then keep it moving.”
If this is your current feeling towards a relation, especially during the Valentine’s Day season, accept the fact majority of us ladies have all been there.
Moving forward, get specific with yourself on what you want. Whether it’s a friend with “benefits,” one time fling or a lifelong partnership that leads to marriage – be honest with you. Once you are, your feelings will remain positively armed.
Accepting Wanted Gifts But Disowning The Gifter
In opposition of being “the weekend,” being a catch who doesn’t want to be caught, may make your romantic lifestyle a bit sticky. In this instance, the ball is in your court and you hold the power of saying, “Jump!” and he replies, “How high?”
Let’s say you’re interest levels are at a bare minimum, but you’re a sucker for gifts. Especially, when receiving high quality, brand name gifts such as Gucci, Balenciaga, Louis Vuitton, Prada or Chanel – how do you say yes to a gift even though they’ve been “friend-zoned?”
It’s easy. Say no to each. I believe I am speaking to many independent women out there who can hold their own. When men shower us with presents, it’s all fun and games until they want more than what we are willing to give them.
Be aware…when accepting his gift, you’re also accepting him. So, think before you say thanks!
(I am not a supporter of gold diggers.) #GIRLBOSS
In all honesty, I did not expect to write from an angle for Valentine’s Day. It just so happens that the modern world, the lifestyle of side dimes and shady secrets of who’s whose, was relative and relatable.
I strongly believe Valentine’s Day is about showing love and learning others preference of receiving love. So, continue to give what you can even if it’s the smallest gift, because sometimes those are the most meaningful.
And be openly communicative about someone’s place in your life. It saves your time as well as theirs. In fact, they will more and likely be in agreement to what you say.
N.U.D.E. // Naked Uncut Daily Empowerment. // “To provide a safe house for the many women.” #Nudist // Unclothe your mind reading naked thoughts