Birth Control: Your Temple, Your Choice

Images provided by  Ian Alexander Photography

Images provided by Ian Alexander Photography

Here I am at 23. Free to live vicariously, able to go wherever I want at anytime. I eat how I desire with no attachment to any permanent responsibilities. As of late my life is peaceful and my mind is clear.

There’s no running nuisances screaming, yelling or crying bleeding my ears. But at times I question how would life paint the picture if the condom did break? What if the pull and pray method didn’t work that ONE time? Or maybe I rode so well there was no choice, but to let gravity have its way. Lighten up on my last thought...I’m only kidding :)

Would adoption be an option? Abortion? Birth control? Or the simple fact to accept God’s gift of conceiving…

I unfortunately have no right answer and neither do you

No one has it all figured out.


All do respect I’m perfectly conscious of the bodies I have encountered with (at least those rememberable), but I prefer to keep this private. Although you’re my doctor this is my intimate life. I understand this is necessary, yet deep down I know you will judge me. Ask anyways.


“Wait, I think ten...”

“Honestly at this point I’ve stopped counting, but hey I’m doing the right thing by being here.” 

“…Have you thought about birth control?”

“Yes, but I’m very against it. The pull and pray method seems to work fine for now.”


The rollercoaster of emotions, loss of sex drive, lack of appetite and irrational thinking. It rejected me. Birth control refused to befriend me and my temple said no, so I listened...

Choosing the pill hasn’t always been the greatest experience, but like any other “first” try, you never forget it. You remember every feeling.

From two weeks to several months…saying yes to a new diet of pill popping no longer made me want a new relationship. My menstrual cycle is perfectly normal, so there wasn’t a true necessity  to continue either way, unless it was time to tango.

…So I refused to take the pill.

Fifth base?…it was beneficial until after I realized how unnatural it is. Keeping my naked thoughts PG-13, you should have girls night and ask about fifth base. See what your ladies have to say or maybe you have your own experiences to share.

Realistically, this wasn’t a choice I could continue forever. 


The part I get frustrated most.

Whether it is a long-term partner, friend with benefits or an intimate courtship during the “Talking Phase” it never fails to hear him say,

“You need to get on birth control.” 

The submissive trait in me quiets down replying, “SURE.” but my unapologetic self also says, “Why is it always the woman who needs to put her body at risk?!”

Most men are not considerate of the side effects birth control can cause against women. I’m not entirely upset about this. Hence, many of us women aren’t very educated either. We’ll listen to the doctor’s two cents, sign any papers and be cool.

Men who know no better see a quick, easy fix taking a pill or shot and bam, no babies. But reality is, it doesn’t always work that way. Birth controls job is to communicate throughout a woman’s body that she is pregnant and that is one hell of a lot, right?


The Benefits

While I’ve bashed my two cents about birth control, I wanted other women to get involved by sharing their experiences.

These are real women giving real advice. A few positive stories are below:

Birth Control Quote 2

“My Moods were all

over the place,

it just wasn't a good time.”

Birth Control Quote 1_1@3.png

“Birth control made

my life so much better.

it literally changed

my life.”

Birth Control Quote 3

“i used to have unbearable back pain

too and now my periods

are lighter and less painful…”



Xiao’s $0.02

The intent behind birth control can be positive for most, while negative for others. And I find no harm taking preventative measures to secure your future, but to rush before researching is a scary thing. It’s something I wish I did early on, but I was young and dumb.

We only have one temple. So before anyone demands what we should do (partner, mom or doctor), research, research, researchand listen to your body because she will always have your best interest.

To understand why I chose to discuss this topic, listen on Allison Behringer’s podcast, Bodies .

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